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Mothers Day 2017 (United Kingdom)

Mother, you carried me inside you

When I was born I relied on you

I hated having to leave you to go to school

Everyone else, in my eyes, was a fool.

If you were here today I’d see you

As it is I always feel you

If you could help me I know you would

You were my best friend, and I should

Be at peace because you are at peace.

A huge SHOUT OUT with thanks

OK my dear friends, I’ve wallowed long enough in a state of depression. A huge thank you to everyone who commented on my last couple of posts and especially to the following:

Lucy Brazier

Laurel Wolfe

Tikeetha T.


Nyssa the Hobbit

Anne Mehrling

and John Howell

Your kindness and well wishes have really helped me to come to terms with not only losing my job and self-respect but also with the loss of my 4th marriage.

For those who are still unaware, I have a mental illness which means that I take everything to heart and while the good things lift me to a manic state, bad things (which everyone goes through from time to time) affect me so badly I feel suicidal and really can’t face getting out of bed in the mornings.

Anyway, increased medication for a brief period was enough to get me back on track, lots of jobs out there so I’m applying like crazy for everything. I will, of course, keep you all informed of anything that comes up for me. With less than 3 years to my pension though I’m not hopeful that I will find anything else but have to keep hoping or else the blackness will be back to haunt me.

Watch this space for further developments and, who knows I may even get the next Chapter of my memoirs finished (I’m part way through 1967 which was the year I became sexually aware and active). Because of the fact that there will be sex acts described in this I feel it won’t be suitable for a general release – only for the over 18’s. Funny how when things are bad, thoughts turn to sex…

If you are one of the others who helped me through the black days and I haven’t mentioned you above, apologies, but the ones mentioned above took time to leave me feedback and have a conversation with me. However, thank you to everyone who took time out to pray for me, offer solace and advice as you all helped in small or large ways.

I really am grateful to all the friends I have found here, the people who count me as a friend won’t be let down by trusting me. Anyway, enough for now but as I said I’m back and ready to go with the next chapter. Life is a bitch, we’ve finished our news, homo-sapiens have outgrown their use, all the strangers came today and it looks as though they’re here to stay. Oh you pretty things don’t you know you’re driving your mama’s and papa’s insane.

Thrown out with the bath water?

I have just found out that Sage, the accountancy software people don’t want me, current employer is extracting the urine with their offer of redundancy and my wife has said she won’t stick around if I don’t have a job. Happy days are here again and things can only get worse from here on in.

I really don’t know why I bother going on, would be better for everyone if I just called it a Monday and signed out completely and permanently.

Meet and Greet: 3/11/17

I always feel welcome at the meet and greet. Everyone does because it’s an inclusion zone. If you follow the rules and join in you will meet new friends, enjoy the company and have fun. Join us please

Dream Big, Dream Often


It’s the Meet and Greet weekend everyone!!  Strap on your party shoes and join the fun!  

Ok so here are the rules:

  1. Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post.
  2. Reblog this post.  It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone!
  3. Edit your reblog post and add tags.
  4. Feel free to leave your link multiple times!  It is okay to update your link for more exposure every day if you want.  It is up to you!

  5. Share this post on social media.  Many of my non-blogger friends love that I put the Meet n Greet on Facebook and Twitter because they find new blogs to follow.

See ya on Monday!!

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Why was I surprised?

I had a meeting at work yesterday to confirm what I already knew (I am being let go – made redundant – surplus to requirements) at the end of March. I was also given a statement of how much my redundancy package would be worth, while I wasn’t expecting a fortune the redundancy part was as I expected (a pittance) but I thought 12 weeks PILON would have made it enough to tide me over for a couple of months, however, the figure for PILON is equivalent to 1 months salary less tax. How does that equate to 12 weeks – which is almost 3 months?

I shouldn’t really be surprised by that, after all I was promised that my salary would increase annually and the initial increase would be 6 months after starting. That never did happen. Morale within the company has gone through the floor and the majority of our customers can’t wait for their contracts to be up so that they can go elsewhere as the service they are paying for is far less than that they were receiving 12-18 months ago.

If the staff are treated badly, then the company can’t expect them to give a continuously brilliant level of service to the customers. Case in point, DWP have been really spectactularly overjoyed at the level of service my team has provided to them. The team is already 33% below the level it was at a year ago. The team now can almost provide the daily, weekly and monthly reports on the usage of our service, after I leave there will not be the level of staff to cover the daily operational period of 07:00-17:00 as well as out of hours support. The way it works currently, if someone is called out and spends two or three hours on that call out they cut back on their working day by an equal amount.

That works because there are still two of us to cover the incident queue and monitor the servers. Once I’ve gone at the end of March there will be two to cover everything, including out of hours support and with major upgrades due to go in between now and the end of July that means no holidays and no time off even if they work 24/7 some weeks.

We all know that no-one can keep going indefinitely without sleep so it will be interesting to see if they ask me to go back just so they don’t have to train another newbie from scratch. (I won’t hold my breath though because knowing Enterprise Services (soon to become DXC Technology) they will continue to lay people off until they have no customers, no shareholders and no staff.

Image below courtesy of Terry Pratchett and Discworld.

Confusing no more

Well, I had my first Compulsory Redundancy Meeting on Friday and that’s when I was officially told that my last day with the company will be 29 March 2017 although I will be paid up to the end of March.

Talk about a kick in the teeth, the reason behind this is: I am occupying a Technical Position as a Non-Technical candidate so my role is disappearing. What could be further from the truth, I have been building and programming computers since the dawn of the personal computer age (1988). True I don’t have a Microsoft or CISCO qualification as I never saw the need for them since they change every 3 months or so.

I have been helping others in my team to carry out their work and was going to help with the on-call rota so that the other two doing it permanently can get 1 week in 3 off. Then I find that one of them could be redundant as well, so doesn’t this get better? His “pool” is 6 big with only 1 going. If it’s him then I doubt if the person left will gladly forego his holidays to cover the work 24/7. No-one is allowed to work from home because when it was allowed a few abused the system.

Not my concern any more and I have been applying for anything at all to tide me over from the beginning of April until I retire in November 2019 (yes that’s right I get my wonderful state pension from the young age of 65 years 6months and a few days). I can’t afford to not work and will gladly take anything that isn’t offered on a zero hours contract. I do have bills to pay and no family to scrounge off. Plus, the person in charge of the team (manager, if you will) is giving us all this wonderful news and she is going to a new company in March when her role is taken in-house. She has therefore avoided all the stress caused by the “Work Force Management” proposals for Q2 (and final in FY17). From April those left move to a new company and will be in FY18.

As if the news of a redundancy pool wasn’t bad enough, to find out you’re the only one in yours and that your definitely finishing come March is a real eye-opener to find out the company you’ve been loyally supporting couldn’t give a flying one about you. Anyhoo, this could be my last post for a while as I am pushing myself to look everywhere for another job and apply for everything out there.

Confusing me this is

I have been placed in a redundancy pool at work and have no idea how many are in the same pool, how many will be earmarked to go and how many will be left. Apparently not everyone is in the same sub-pool and there are 4 out of 6 in my team who could face redundancy, leaving 2 to do all the work and impact the customer.

My team cover the hours of 07:00 to 17:00 Mon-Fri and outside these hours offer an on-call service for major issues impacting the customer. If the team is cut back by 2/3rds then this will obviously have a negative impact on the customer relationship. But if this happens can the company then recruit young staff at a fraction of the wage bill? They never used to be able to, at one time if you made someone redundant then that job effectively disappeared and could not be filled, however, in these days of zero hour contracts of employment can employers realise they are overpaying people and make them redundant to cut down the wage bill and then employ cheaper labour to fill the gaps?

On a warmer note, my friend is (hopefully) on the mend and after a long battle with cancer seems to be making some headway against the disease. She has started gaining weight (not much but anything is good, isn’t it?). The doctors and nurses treating her are now talking about removing the feeding tube and allowing her to eat and drink normally again (difficult without a tongue I know). She is deserving of our prayers and warmest wishes so please join me in that endeavour.



Heil Drumpf making America a bigger joke than Nixon could have dreamed.


Week 12 of Donald Trump’s presidency: Experts in authoritarianism advise to keep a list of things subtly changing around you, so you’ll remember.published February 4, 2017

An observation on Week 12: several of the most important items in this very long list are the ones not getting coverage: including Ukraine, and the many abuses of power to silence dissent and stomp on ethics. Conflicts of interest abound, unfettered.

Protests over Trump’s Muslim Ban took place all over the country and around the world. Thousands protested in major airports and cities, including many red states.

Trump’s EO was criticized by many, and supported by few. Christian leaders spoke our voraciously against prioritizing Christian refugees.

Innumerable horrid stories about the impact of the Muslim ban surfaced during the week. Spicer minimized its impact. Presidents of 598 colleges and universities wrote a letter of concern about the Ban.

Trump promoted Bannon, under…

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Valentine’s Day


Today is Valentine’s Day

A day of love celebrated around the world.

Valentine was a Roman who liked nothing better than killing and watching people die.

This song by David Bowie is beautiful (nothing less than I would expect from him really).

If we all get together and help those we can and leave the war behind with all the hatred and misogyny that is running down the streets in floods these days.

Can we try to find the best in others and show them the best in ourselves let others know we care. Let them take us as we are or leave us alone. If we leave ourselves open and vulnerable is the world going to stop turning and send us floating into space?

If Major Tom met Ziggy Stardust what would they find to discuss? Both having been inside the brain of the thin white duke and sent into space. Would they find mutual enjoyments or disappear inside their own spacesuits?

Five minutes of film

Please let the author know your thoughts by posting them against the original.

The Silent Eye

He wasn’t feeling too good so I carried his breakfast through into the lounge where he was watching TV and sat down with him on the sofa for five minutes. He was watching a wildlife programme and, as the small polar bear weakened and failed through starvation, I watched through a veil of tears. My own son beside me, it was easy to recognise the encouragement in the way the ursine mother tried to raise her cub to his feet. That was bad enough. Realising the little one could no longer stand she and his twin snuggled up with the dying cub, sharing warmth and comfort; nuzzling him gently and curled around the little body. Just waiting until the end. I can’t even write it without tears.

There was the debate about how the camera crew could simply stand by and watch, filming the tragedy, but the general…

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