Well, today is my daughter’s 46th birthday and I haven’t seen her in 23 years, so half her life. We had a falling out which I was unaware of until I attempted to contact her in 2000, she really tore me a new one with her reply. Four years later my dad said she wanted to get in touch and had given him her email and postal address as well as her phone number to pass on to me. I contacted her again and once again I got a stinking letter back from her and that was also the last time she was in touch with her grandad.
I found out from one of my neices that her marriage had ended and she was seeing someone else, but haven’t been able to find out where she is living or what her name is now. Whether she still has mine, has kept her married name or has remarried because I think when she was told that I had been informed of her situation and wanted her to contact me she stopped speaking to my niece.
Nothing hurts as much as family, nothing ever cuts as deep as a child who doesn’t want to see you or talk to you. Even when you did what you thought was right at the time. I had been evicted, no one was willing to put me and my third wife and her son up as a family except her dad who was living in Sunderland, in a 2 bed property, so the three of us shared the same room. My daughter was livid that I had moved away without telling her, because she would have gone with me and that hurt her too much. Because I didn’t know what we were getting into or how long it would take to get something affordable to call our own I didn’t get in touch. Within two months we had a place, I was working and I wanted to get in touch with Sara but the letter I wrote to her in 1997 came back as not known at this address. She had moved and it took me until 2001 to track her down. By that time I had become a father again, with her half brother to go with her half sister from her mum.
I was also with another woman, having separated from wife #3 because of her cruelty, physical and mental, towards me. As soon as I left her to go and live somewhere on my own, she stopped paying the rent (the tenancy was in joint names) and eventually moved back down to Basingstoke where her family were living. Before I could be considered for a council house (which there still were at that time) I had to clear her rent arrears up which amounted to just over £300, she had moved out 2 months after I left but had kept the tenancy going until she moved back to Basingstoke. Apparently she had told a woman’s refuge that I had been cruel to her and she had to escape while I was at work, moving in there she left everything behind in the house but cleaned it out before heading back to Basingstoke, giving me a rental tv and telling me I should get in touch with Radio Rentals to see what they wanted to do about it.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, she left Newcastle, taking my son and hers with her. For a couple of months I could call and speak to the boys to see how they were and had agreed to take them for 2 weeks over the summer. When I went down to pick them up she told me Jason was going to his dad’s for a month so I would only have Michael, that suited me fine and we had a whale of a time that summer. His mum not so much, Jason was dropped back off at his mum’s two days after his dad picked him up because his dad was going to Reading for the Festival and didn’t have a ticket for Jason.
Anyway, when I heard that I was very sorrowful on the phone to my ex-wife, still don’t know how I managed to keep the laughter in until I was able to end the call. She had expected to have wild parties every night and get laid for two whole weeks, two days later that came crashing down. Which has absolutely nothing to do with my daughter but I still miss talking to her and finding out what she was up to. We used to have a really great relationship and talked about anything and everything. That made it so much harder when I was enjoying myself because I wanted to tell her and let her know I was still thinking of her. I would have also liked to hear how she was doing if she’d started making good choices in her men or if they were still wrong ‘uns.