Heaven must be missing an angel

by davebarclay1954

If I don’t get this out of my system now it is going to drag me down into the darkest recesses of my brain. Here isn’t the right place to reveal my deepest darkest secrets, especially since you, my dear reader, have done nothing to upset me, you have mental health issues as well so it wouldn’t be fair to unburden my problems on your shoulders. Many of you would offer advice but it isn’t advice I need, I need someone to shine a light so I can see how much farther this tunnel leads.

I know the problem is mine alone, but when you live with someone with mental health issues and you have mental health issues yourself, how long does it take before your mental health suffers and you are no longer able to help? I have reached that point now, my mental health is beginning to take more of a pounding than I can take, more than I can cope with. If I get any lower how will I be able to help? I know I have to try and take care of me first before I can help others but the lessons I have been using to keep myself healthy (mentally) are being worn away now and I can feel myself sinking down more each day.

I have tried writing my issues down and burning the paper, but this time it didn’t help. I won’t go into details here because that isn’t fair but meditation doesn’t help with my issues, unlike before last week, I was meditating every day and it was helping me to remain positive, things happened at the end of last week which stopped me in my tracks and started the slide which I have been trying, and failing miserably, to stop.