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by davebarclay1954

Common sense is now an endangered species: Stupidity has taken over the world and unfortunately there is no known cure for it.

It’s going to be one of those days today: The voices in my head are fighting. My imaginary friend is running with scissors, and one of my personalities has decided to take the rest of the day off.

I’m not crazy, I’m just special. No wait, maybe I AM crazy… Just one second I have to talk this out with myself I’ll be back soon.

Why worry? You only have two things to worry about, either you are ill or else you are well. If you are well there’s nothing to worry about, if you are ill then you have two things to worry about, either you will get better or you will die. If you get better you have nothing to worry about, if you die you only have two things to worry about, either you will go to Heaven or you will go to Hell. If you go to Heaven then there’s nothing to worry about. If you go to Hell you’ll be far too busy reconnecting with dead friends to remember to worry, so why worry?

When you can’t hear what someone says and they’ve repeated it about 99 times, don’t be surprised if they bite your head off and spit it out.

Don’t ask me for an opinion, I still think it’s okay to punch stupid people in the face.