I must have done something bad
As I said yesterday, this morning actually but hey what’s time between friends? Another post to make up for ignoring all of you wonderful people for the last few weeks. I don’t mean to take up too much of your precious and valuable time so I will keep this post brief and to the point.
They say that everything happens for a reason, people come into your life because you need them, for one reason or another, and once they have served their purpose they will leave again. I mentioned on here that I had had no contact with a close friend for over a year (it’s now over 4 years) and I was worrying about him since the last time I saw him he was due to go into hospital for an operation and would probably end up in a care home if anything went wrong. I still haven’t heard back from him, however, I did find out a few months ago that his email is still active (I received a delivered report from the last email I sent).
Because of this I can only assume he is no longer interested in maintaining our friendship, or is unable to. This is another blow to an already fragile egg-shell like ego. You see I have two children from two different mothers and neither of them can be bothered to stay in touch for whatever reason. I understand my daughter is still mad at me for my actions in 1997, when I had less than 3 hours to find somewhere to live or survive on the streets. Because of this I headed North to Sunderland to live with my, then, wife’s dad. Since this was arranged in a hurry I was given the task of collecting her son from school while she packed things up we needed. I went to school then down to the pub where Sara spent some time with my ex-wife but neither of them were there.
I called in to the dole office to pick up a giro which I cashed before heading back up to my mother-in-laws to grab our stuff and head back into Basingstoke to catch the National Express into London in order to get the overnight bus to Sunderland. This upset my daughter immensely and she has never forgiven me for not seeing her and giving her the opportunity to come here with me.
My son used to come and see me every week while he was living with a foster mum in Longbenton but after he moved out of there aged 16, it started getting longer between visits. Then they stopped completely 3 years ago. Since then I get one or two texts a year usually on his birthday and New Years.
Have I really been that terrible a person to force both my children out of my life? Or could it be that they no longer need me in their lives and they are happier without me?