People may come, people may go
by davebarclay1954
Music today is from two of the musicians who accompanied Prince in the 70’s and 80’s. Wendy and Lisa who helped Prince to become the Superstar he always wanted to be as part of the Revolution. Copyright in the song is not owned by me and the video is courtesy of YouTube, as always apologies if it doesn’t play where you are.
It’s funny how people come into our lives when we need them, then they will disappear, sometimes for a year or two then come back. I met a young girl in 1973 and she worked in the typing pool in the same Government building and I was a year older than her. She went down to London to work and we corresponded for a little while until I got married in the December. Anyway, we found each other again through the web site Friends Reunited in 2002, almost 30 years after losing touch. I have kept in touch with her ever since and a couple of weeks ago went to visit her and her sister in Dunfermline because she had cancer but it came back more ferocious and is killing her now.
To cut a long story short, we are still texting each other (she can no longer speak as her tongue was riddled with cancer and she had it removed which was why she went into remission. We text often and it’s good to be keeping in touch when she is so near the end, I hope she gets more help from the texts than I do because I’m not the one dying.
Another friend of mine lived near by to where I currently live but has not been heard from for the last 3 years and I don’t know if he is alive or dead. He went dark a few years ago for 18 months before calling round out of the blue to see me. That won’t happen this time though since I moved last year and he has never been to my current address. The flat I lived in has now been sold as well so he can’t call there and ask for my forwarding address.
If anyone has any thoughts on how to help me to not become too maudlin when thinking of both my friends (not the only friends I have but two of the closest) please let me know. I find that I write a text to my dying friend then delete it because it isn’t appropriate to tell her how I feel when she is suffering and dying.
I want to keep in touch but I want to cheer her up not bring her further down, especially when she is in so much pain. Endtran.
Now for some major gripes for no other reason than it’s good to get things off your chest and into the open. I have been able to cut down my pain meds again for a while but now I am in so much pain I fear that I will have to increase them again, is there any thing out there that I can use instead of the opiates? I really don’t like taking too many pain killers and want to keep at half the daily recommended dose especially since I am taking them every day.
On a less fractious note, Parliament has closed down for two weeks so there will not be as much crap in the news about Brexit. Everyone I know is fed up to the back teeth with May and her non-starter of a non-deal. The referendum, like the Presidential election in the same year, was hijacked and fraudulently won. Now the winners are claiming that no deal Brexit is better than a bad deal. Because they cheated, lied and stole the referendum result in England and Wales we deserve to have the final say and there should be 3 options under discussion, acceptance of a bad deal or no deal (either one of which will cripple our economy for decades and possibly centuries) and the final option to remain in the EU.
Any Brexit deal should only be for England and Wales since both Scotland and Northern Ireland voted to Remain they should be allowed to do so. With that I will close this brief blog and hope that I come back again soon.
barclaydave 
About the pain drugs…I know it’s hard to get off of them. Some people start taking Methadone, which itself is addictive. I never took pain drugs…mainly because I had to raise my four children virtually alone and I couldn’t be high. LOL
As far as your dying friend, that’s a toughie. I took care of my friend who was dying of a glyoblastoma multiform IV brain tumor. Although he had hope, I knew he was going to die. I talked to him the same way I always had. I treated him no different than I had before, although he eventually started getting a bit too possessive.
When he said “I think I can beat this,” I said, “you can always hope to be the exception.”
I would just say…be yourself. Offer comfort if you feel that is what they need. Offer encouragement always. Never lie to them. If they want to get angry, let them. If they want to cry, cry with them. Let them know that you are there for them.
Thank you so much for your insight Laurel, you are a truly great woman, a fantastic human being and I hope we get the chance to meet up sometime, if not you are truly a great person to know and to share the planet with.
Thank you so much. Meeting up would be wonderful. I just have to get over the airplane thing. I have flown, you know. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. My ex was unmerciful to me. The flight attendant heard the way he was talking to me and felt sorry for me, I think. She kept bringing me those little cartons of milk! When I was getting off the plane, she put her arm around me…didn’t say anything, but I appreciated it.
Flying was never something I wanted to do, then when I flew to the USA in 1992 I had such a great flight, thanks to the cabin crew, I never looked back.
I cant speak for everyone, but I think your friends with the cancer may feel a little better reading texts that show you care. I know you do, but sometimes sharing fear and pain is better than trying to cheer someone up.
Sorry you’re in pain yourself. Would therapeutic maryjane help?
It would, but unfortunately it’s still illegal here 😦
Ah, sorry. The oil just started to be legal in my home state. Still not legal in all states.
Still not legal across the pond 😦