February made me shiver

by davebarclay1954

Why does it take something simple like the bright light of the sun, to cheer the day, dull the voices and make me feel good? I know I suffer from a multitude of mental disorders, bi-polar, S.A.D., and deep clinical depression with anxiety. That still doesn’t help me to understand why Vitamin D eases all the symptoms and makes me feel I can float on air.

Anyone not similarly affected won’t understand, most people compare me to curtains when I try explaining how I’m feeling. (Pull yourself together man). They don’t know how that one phrase can push someone like me over the edge, make me stop thinking of committing suicide and doing it instead.

A cuppa, a soda (fizzy pop to us Brits) and a friendly non judgemental ear go a long way towards helping. I find myself drawn towards the darker side of town sometimes. I don’t feel afraid anywhere because I died young and every day is a bonus. Death is a companion on my journey so why do people fear him? When my time is up then I will go back to the earth willingly. All I ask is a pyre with me on top and flames licking my corpse until I’m gone.

What happens afterwards will happen anyway, either I’ve lived a good life and progress or else I haven’t so will come back to try again. Everything is nothing anyway so it matters not. Sun disappears and the mood turns black so this is where this post ends.

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