An Urgent Need for Greed

by davebarclay1954

If this doesn’t hit your funny bone, you must be dead already.



The Blind can’t see!

We left off where my telescope had just arrived.  The price left my Mummy sitting on the side of her bed, downing a handful of pills, with a bottle of Scotch, repeating over and over: ‘Why don’t I just shoot myself?’  I was a little skeptical too.  Anything that was invented in the 1600’s, isn’t it out of date?  It’s a sausage, with a piece of glass.  How good can it be?

The label on the other side said: ‘Batteries not included!’  In those days, everything said: ‘batteries not included’ whether it needed batteries or not.  Why, I opened up a piece of: ‘Double Bubble’ gum once, and sure enough!  Inside, written on the wrapper? ‘Batteries not included!’  And you didn’t get double bubbles at all!  They just said that so you’d buy two of them!  Anyway, <Pfffffffffft!> anything you buy is BS!

I thought the scope might stink too! …

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