April, Spring, new beginnings
I feel a spring morning while washing my hair
The weather changes and it’s getting warmer
The days are getting longer and summer soon
Will be here, will this year be better, calmer?
How I long for the weather of my youth
When all was well, no need to hide
I feel the change in attitude and fear
Winter was long, violent and yet mild
Rain washed hills down into valleys here
Like a river of mud and boy was it wild
Reminded me of a pit village in Wales,
Coal sludge moved and covered a school
Oh how I miss those days of old, when I didn’t
Have a worry nor care
We ran, we laughed, we cried together, it all seems
Like a lifetime ago, what happened to my friends,
My hopes, dreams and tears of joy?
They’ve all been replaced with pain and grief
I feel alone as I sit in my chair, everything changes
Nothing will last, as I ponder my life I find it strange
That a lot of my friends died yet I’m still here
Why have I lived to reach 60 and not they?
Makes no sense since I’ve lived to excess
More so they say
Now here I ponder, muse and wonder
What is life going to do next? Can I survive into old age?
The fire is burning low, I’ve fought my last fight
Here my days are turning to night
I keep going but don’t know why
Especially when I’m so ready and willing to die