Once more into the breach

by davebarclay1954

After the events of the last few days, I think I need to lighten the mood of this blog of mine and I hope you’re still with me dear reader. In order to give you (and I) a chance to do this I will relate a tale my daughter shared.

A few weeks ago, she went to the cinema with a friend and 6 children, 4 of which are my grandchildren. Anyway, they decided which movie to go to with the children and duly bought the tickets. As money is tight, they’d bought sweets and drinks before going to the cinema. The eldest of my grandchildren decided he wanted popcorn to eat during the film and almost shouted loud enough to be heard outside the complex “Mam, we need some cockporn for the film!”

My daughter tried telling him it was popcorn not what he said and he was arguing with her by the shop area, with everyone listening to him getting louder and louder until the manager came over with a complimentary serving of popcorn and told this loud 9 year old that, yes, Mum was right it is popcorn. My daughter and her friend were blushing quite badly by this time so they thanked the manager and rushed off to find their screen.

I remember when my daughter was 2 or 3, my mum came to visit us in Basingstoke, where we were living, commenting on the state of the step at the front door, she grabbed a bucket of water and the hard brush and proceeded to clean it. My daughter, being curious as to the noise, went outside and demanded of her Gran, “What the f**k do you think you’re doing?” I was mortified but tried to cover it over while almost choking, so I didn’t laugh out loud. Mum did eventually come to blame my wife as she swore all the time, as did I (apart from when mum was with me). It could’ve easily been either of us she’d picked the bad language off.

I used to keep myself fit when I was younger, but since my illness became worse, I’ve been unable to exercise much. Because of this I’ve, naturally, put on several stones in weight. All the women reading this will probably know where I’m coming from when I say that the weight is easier to put on than take off. If anyone has any tips that don’t involve spending 2 hours a day at the gym I’d love to hear them. My food budgie, however, is limited to £25 per week owing to the bills I have to pay. Please don’t tell me to cut out things like bread, potatoes, or other veg as that forms the bulk of my diet.